Stuck...

Do you ever feel as if your stuck between a rock and a hard place?
I had my mates satying over the other day...which was cool masha'allah...Only I ended up having an argument with one of them...for somthing that wasn't at all my fault. Its a long story...that would require ALOT of typing...and I don't think I'm up for it.
Don't you hate being blamed for somthing that isn't your fault...when someone acuses you based on there own misguided thoughts.
It was a terrible end to a sleep over...Totaly un expected...and VERY un-welcome.

I managed to get an A for my essey this week...I was REALY suprised...didn't think my slapdash scribbles thrown down on paper were worth that much. The teacher claims I write like a poet...and am very expresive in my writing...I'm still not very sure...but hey, If it gets me a an A whats the prob! :D So all in all studying is going Ok...not that I'm doing much...but what I am doing is going well masha'allah.
I've been feeling slightly crappy the past few days...and Its one of those things that you can't realy work out.

My dads gone on holiday...(visit his mum...). So me and mum are attempting to decorate the house while he's gone...we've only got one room and a half to do now maha'allah...I think I'm going to have lost all use of my arms by the end of it...lol.

Everyone seems to be having a crap time lately...all my mates are down..everyones fighting there own battles...and I'm just finding it sad. Seeing them upset is hurting me...The hardest thing is the feeling that I can't help...that I don't have the capability to do anything that will make them feel better. Its a killer...I sent one of my mates a card the other day (a small token of affection)...and she said it cheered her up loads, which resulted in me staring at the computer with one of those weird goofy grins on my face...out of sheer happiness that I'd succeeded in making someone feel better.





There so sweet...:wub:

*messing*

(He doesn't appreciate having his photo taken...lol)
(My mate ami's new shoes...along with her lilac PJ's....:peace:)
(Look at my huge foot compared to my mates....lol)

Check out my Slide Show!

BOO!

(don't ask...I'm a women obsesed...with her shoes)

take a look at the feet people....

Take a look at the feet people...they speak for themselves! lol

After I ripped my other shoes to shreds there was no other option but to buy a new pair. As I walked to and fro from classes etc...a flipaty flop follwed me...I (being me) couldn't work out were it was coming from...until...someone pointed uot the extreme flap on the end of my foot (optherwise known as my shoe) was I embaressed? no, infact I started to flip[ it in the air to expose to the world that I yes I had a floppy shoe...mother however took pity on me (after I nagged) and took me shopping! because shes a love masha'allah...ands there you go...I know officialy have the coolest shoes in the whole of London.

Take a look at the pic...I could be a photographer yet...:wink:

(it took me an absolute age to work out how to tie them up...on acounf of the button fastening on the side...tsch)
Now...thats a pretty darn good pic...what say you?
Hello: this is steven he's my boyfreind...

I've been helping mum pait the house...ready to do a house swap. It's all being painted magnolis (because most brits are too narrow minded to see any potentiol in anything if its not ). So I've been looking lucious the past few days (paint in hair and all)...plus the fact that I cut my finger whilst using a scouring pad to clean hard paint of the floor...and got the mettle right through my finger...It looked like a bloody masacre. There was blood every where...I've never seen so much blood come from one finger...EVER.
Had the flu at the begining on the week...so haven't been able to do my essey (got an A/B on the last yaaaaaay!)
And the teacher has a test prepared for sunday...and if we don't pass...hell awaits us. How do you make god knows how long essey in one day?
I feel slightly depresed...
My freind (madam pushy) wants to do everything with me...and its getting to the point were I fell almost strangled
Oh well...I'll go talk to steven...(at least I can wash him away when I'm fed up with him eh?)

Pushy Freinds?

Eugh...don't they just make you want to scream?
So...It goes like this...I have a pushy freind...you doesn't know the extent of her pushiness (that IS a technical term by the way). She continuasly shows me up...In class...In front of my other mates...and the list goes on. I just don't thik she knows and understands the meaning of *personal space*. The most horendous thing is...she doesn't know shes doing it...AND to make matters worse shes the type of person that is easily offended...and goes of on a rant if you happen to tell her that the things shes doing are not paticulaly "nice".
Its gotten to the point were I dislike being in her presence...or even talking to her...the solution? I have no idea...
How do you tell someone there one of natures natruel pushies?
that they continuasly let you down?
that they put you down all the time?
make you feel worthless and rotten...?
and above all...that you think they should back off and get on with there own life?.
I just "don't" know how to do it...call me a wimp if you will (its what I am when it comes to things like this) . I just don't know how to do it wothout offending her big style. Or is the whole point to offend to make them see how irretated I realy am?
I'm confused and slightly anoyed.
Why isn't there an easy solution? can't wee have waste baskets to chuck them in?
or a machine that filters them into your ideal freind?
Or somthing that makes the whole darn process a little more easy?
If I don't think of somthing fast...I'll end up blowing...which will be even worse..so I need to work on a solution fast...there we have another probelm...I've got brain freeze...and am feeling slow and slugish...
Oh I don't know...

I'm feeling rather numpty...

Ok, So in an attempt to get myself doing somthing productive...I've been trying out art journals...which I have to say isn't as easy as I first thoguht. Nieve me thought that all you had to do was stick a couple of things on paper and hey presto there you go...(that was everyone elses experiance...) but no, it had to go the hard way for me...so I sat for nearnly the whole day (on the sofa) with a stick of prit glue in my hand...looking rather baffled and puzzled...and obviously not knowing what to do...
I've started going to my Halaqas again...this time not at the masjid thoguh...as they've ever so kindly blocked lady's from entering...talk about un-Islamic...Things get worse and worse every day...apparently a womens place is at home...and the masjid isn't for "us". In my opinion the men in this ummah need to get a grip...Its us women that are keeping everything from going taboo. So the halaqas are taking place in my mates house masha'allah...untill we find some where else to move to that is.
I've also started going to another gathering for sistahs of fridays...which is proving to be very nice...Its in a church hall...which just makes the above seem even worse...the Muslims are blicking women from the masaajid...but the christians will hapily let us use there churches? what is thw world coming to for gods sake!?
I've been kept busy (yes, I know) by home work...yes, I actualy know the feeling of having homework now...and it's horrid...honest truth. Its a bore...and I get brain freeze every time I even aproach my work folder (good reason to keep away actualy). I handed in my first essey yesterday...and am waiting for the thumbs up (or thumbs down...more likely) to be given. Hopefully it won't be as bad as math...I got 6/100...Its a disgrace I know. I'm a total shame to the family...and a shame to the school statistics. I never in all my life thoguht it was as dire as that (I was wrong)...well I know what I'll be spending my time doing now...don't I?
The science teacher is totaly cool...and so's the english one...I think my dislike for the math teacher is more to do with the fact that I hate the subject (shes actualy rather pleasent) BUt shes good at math...so unfortunatly I can't warm to her (does that sound realy cold?)
I'm going to start power walking to get myself all fit and livly (not that I need to be anymore lively...but you know what I mean)...hopefully the fresh air may just get my brain in working order...

(the art journal...the pain)
(the art journal again...double pain)
(me at work with oils...) (and below a painting that went terribly wring...I smudged it on the side...eugh!)

(my folder that has been customized...mostly on the inside with depresing lyrics...in a bid to show my "emo" mate that I can be "emo" too...haha! as if!)